There were various walks to various restaurants on my way to meet various friends or work associates when I remember thinking, “What lie am I going to come up with this time?” Not only had pregnancy made me exhausted in my first trimester, suddenly it was turning me into a liar. My friends would know something was up if I wouldn’t be joining them for a cocktail…or a few. There are only so many excuses a girl can come up with before bursting “I’m pregnant!” So for those evenings you find yourself on that same walk, I grant you five lies to make all your own.
Tell them you’re doing a juice cleanse:
It’s all the rage these days, and they’re probably doing one next week. Just make sure you eat before you meet them and know which juice company you’re fake representing.
Tell them you’re on antibiotics:
Just please make sure to come up with why. A dear friend of mine started thinking that I had an STD because I couldn’t give her a clear answer as to why I was taking meds. Can we say “ew”?
Tell them you’re cutting back on calories:
When they ask you why? Lie again: “I wanna be skinnier, duh.”
Tell them you’re trying to get pregnant:
Affirm them with something like: “Don’t be an idiot. I’d totally tell you if I was!”
Tell them you have to be on point for something work-related tomorrow:
They’ll respond with the usual: “God, you’re such a workaholic.”
And when those don’t work? Invite them over for a “cocktail” and make yourself this delicious N/A recipe provided by Executive Chef & Managing Partner of Center Bar, Michael Lomonaco:
1 oz raspberry puree
½ of agave nectar
top with club soda
Method- combine the raspberry puree and the agave nectar in a highball. Stir and then fill up the glass with ice, top with club soda. Stir and then fill up the glass with ice, top with club soda
Just don’t forget to add booze to your friends glass.