For many of us, pre-baby concerns are centered around labor and delivery and around the babies health. Is it going to hurt? What if we don’t make it to the hospital in time? What if something goes wrong? Will he/she be healthy? But what about your relationship with your partner?
Preparing for the inevitable post-babe shift in your marriage tends to take a back seat, but it can be a poisonous oversight. Add a third (or fourth or fifth) person into any relationship dynamic, and things are going to be jostled. And once you invite a tiny, adorable, loveable human into your home, you have to make a concerted effort to work on your partnership and maximize the little one-on-one time you are able to carve out. To help you with this (not easy) feat, I spoke with my girl gang as well as a handful of guy friends and asked them what practices they’ve implemented into their marriage to reconnect with their partners post-babe. Here are 5 ways to reconnect with your husband after baby arrives.
1. Date night. Finding time to connect sans baby can be difficult, but it is incredibly important. Schedule a weekly or even monthly date night when someone else can watch the babe and allow you and your partner to get some quality adult time.
2. No business talk. During this pre-scheduled time, try not to talk about anything “business” related. You can also schedule a separate time to review all of your tasks so your date night can be focused on relaxation and fun.
3. Gratitude Texts. Marital communication with baby can quickly devolve into the nitpicky, so it is important to focus on the things that you love about each other. Try texting each other one thing that you appreciate about the other. Doing this daily can be particularly effective.
4. The bed time. Once your baby is old enough to have a scheduled bed time, use it to schedule one-on-one time with your significant other. Share a glass of wine or enjoy a nice dinner. Remember, no business talk.
5. Overcommunicate. Child rearing can be isolating and as much as you want your partner to be a mind reader, they’re not. So don’t be scare to overshare. Talking to your spouse about how you are feeling, even more than seems comfortable, can really do wonders to make sure you all are on the same page.
Jacqui Somen is a Certified Postnatal Fitness Specialist. She is a former ballet dancer, a coach for wellness entrepreneurs and is trained in trauma-informed yoga and Reiki. She teaches a Mama & Me Meditation and Movement class in Miami and writes about postnatal wellness at 100and8.com.